Tag Archives: Larry Page

If I worked at Google…

30 Mar

On my first day at Google, I would wear a pair of vintage Horace Grant sport goggles (or a reasonable facsimile) and wait for the first person to tell me “hey man, nice googles!”

If I worked at Google, I would make it a point to either have Sergey Brin , Larry Page or Eric Schmidt send me a personal email. The beginning of said email would read something like this…” Dear Sherief, Welcome to Google, the coolest company in the world, and incidentally home to the coolest air conditioning system in the world”

If I worked at Google, I would immediately write a blog post called “If I worked at Facebook”…I would then go on to say “If I worked at Facebook, I would convince Mark Zuckerberg to sell his beloved company to Google, for $1,800 dollars and a lifetime supply of L.A. Gear basketball shoes“…

If I worked at Google, I would coin the phrase “Google goes Gaga” and then I wou…wait a second…smh

If I worked at Google, I would moonlight as a wrestler where I would devastate my opponents with a finishing move called the “Googleplex”. It would be a hybrid between a suplex and a random calculation of an equation involving a Googol (1 followed by 100 zeros)…I would later be banned from wrestling for being an idiot

If I worked at Google, I would be happier than this guy

If I worked at Google, I would release my first music called “Surfin on my Chrome 22’s”…which would actually mean surfin on the internet using the Google Chrome browser on my 22” inch monitor

If I worked at Google, I would say that I could come up with a Googol more of these kinds of one liners and probably should take a break for now…stay tuned for when I discuss my imaginary employment with the Harlem Globetrotters 🙂